SEEING CLEARLY: Where Personal and Professional Collide
www.umr-acuho.org @UMRACUHO
SPRING 2020 Volume 56, No. 1
Perspectives
Pamela Lisowe Chair, Communications Committee University of Wisconsin - Madison pamela.lisowe@housing.wisc.edu
State Membership Coordinator Erica Thompson University of St. Thomas ekgeers@gmail.com
State Membership Coordinator Alyssa Reyes Bolante University of Wisconsin - Oshkosh bolantea@uwosh.edu
- Matt Diischer (Chair) - Pamela Lisowe (Chair) - Alex Lawlor - Alex Miller - - Alexis Paladini - Barb Haggarty - Clara Edwards - Daniel Vorwerk - Elizabeth Gier - - Kirsten Hauge - Priscilla Perez - Rachel Ross-Farmer - Ryan Hoye -
UMR Perspectives {{page}}
UMR-ACUHO
COMMUNICATIONS COMMITTEE MEMBERS
Immediate Past President Torin Akey Minnesota State University, Mankato torin.akey@mnsu.edu
Vice President/President Elect Keniese Evans University of Iowa keniese-evans@uiowa.edu
Spring 2020, Vol. 56, No. 1
UMR-ACUHO :: INCLUSION & EQUITY STATEMENT
Technology & Sustainability Coordinator Melissa Shugarman Gustavus Adolphus College mshugarm@gustavus.edu
Inside UMR President's Note -------------------------------------- 5 UMR-ACUHO 2020 Committee Chairs ------------- 7 Annual Conference Waiver Recipients ----------- 8 Case Study Corner ----------------------------------- 12 Award Winners --------------------------------------- 15 Program Proposal ------------------------------------ 20 Personal Side When Professional Meets Survivor --------------- 22 What the Deaf has Taught me about Communication -------------------------- 26 A Christian and an Atheist Walk into a Bar ---------------------------------------------- 29 I'm Fine ------------------------------------------------ 34 Just a Piece of my Brain ----------------------------- 36 Working WITH Mental Health Concerns ---------- 42 UMR Perspectives Vonversations ---------------------------------------- 45
Treasurer Mandi Craven Wichita State University amanda.craven@wichita.edu
COMMUNICATIONS CHAIR NOTE
The purpose of UMR-ACUHO shall be to promote and provide an environment of full opportunity and service for all identities. The Association will strive to acknowledge discrimination and eliminate it.
Inclusion and Equity Coordinator Evan Knoespel University of Iowa evan-knoespel@uiowa.edu
Corporate Sponsorships Coordinator Allyson Plattner St. Cloud State University allyson.plattner@stcloudstate.edu
MISSION OF THE UMR-ACUHO MAGAZINE
President Jacque McKenna University of Kansas jmckenna@ku.edu
The 2020 UMR-ACUHO Executive Committee
UMR-ACUHO :: NON-DISCRIMINATION STATEMENT
UMR-ACUHO is committed to inclusive practices, the principle of equity, and engagement with difference. Our organization seeks to provide members with experiences that foster a culture where civil discourse is embraced.
The Communications Committee provides the UMR-ACUHO membership with an opportunity for information-sharing, professional dialogue, and a forum for ideas to increase knowledge, wisdom, and excellence in our field.
Hello UMR-ACUHO! The spring semester is here and students are finding their way home from our campuses due to the COVID-19 global pandemic. As I reflect back on the first three months of 2020, there are plenty of times where my personal and professional life came to a collision; especially with telecommuting from home. This issue of Perspectives focuses on just that. We gathered articles that shared experiences from professionals in our region where they too had overlaps or possibly even a collision. Each season of life brings new challenges and rewards, twists and turns, and some memories; both good and not so good. Nevertheless, we developed resiliency and persisted through each situation. We hold onto these experiences as they shape our experiences and now, we share them as an opportunity to share what we've learned and help teach others those lessons. I hope you enjoy these articles as much as I have and I encourage you to continue to have conversations with your colleagues- to learn from each other and to support each other. As our Communications Committee continues to create Perspectives, we too are finding new ways to engage with you! Moving forward, we are moving away from themes for our magazines. We look to hear your "perspectives" about all your experiences, topics, and UMR interests! The deadline for article submissions for our Fall 2020 Pre-Conference issue is June 12, 2020. We hope you continue to enjoy the new design, hyperlinks and features we've created. We also hope you'll connect with us on Social Media; Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram!!
Secretary Becky Wilson University of Iowa rebecca-wilson@uiowa.edu
Continued on Page 6
President's Corner
Submitted by Jacque McKenna, Associate Director for Housing & Occupancy, The University of Kansas
Welcome to the Spring issue of Perspectives, this issue of our magazine focuses on the impact and influence of our personal and professional lives. I am sure you will be impressed with the work of the Communications Committee as they have curated a variety of perspectives and insights which share how both our personal and professional lives are impacted by our lived daily experience. When the inspiration for this issue was shared with me, two words stuck out: intersection and collision. According to dictionary.com, an intersection is described as a place where two or more roads meet or a set of elements that two or more sets have in common. Whereas collision is described as a coming violently into contact; crash; a clash; conflict. Ultimately both mean the joining or overlap of two items-but depending on how those items join-determines how positively or negatively we describe the relationship. At times, I feel the struggle between the professional and personal aspects of my life. The two seem more like a conflict rather than a perfectly balanced pair. While at other times, I know I am a better professional, and I am better able to serve my colleagues and students because of the lessons learned through my life experiences and vice versa. Last week my parents came to Lawrence, KS. While they were in town to visit me and my siblings-they also were here to attend the Monday KU basketball game. As plans were being made, I knew I had a busy Monday at work and would not be able to take time off to spend the day with them. Not a problem, my independent parents had plans of their own. Based on my schedule, I thought I would be finished at work around 4:30 p.m. My whole family decided to meet up for dinner at 5 p.m. before heading to the game. I made a plan and knew exactly how I needed my day to go to find the intersection between my personal and professional life (and make it to the KU game on time). Well, my day did not go as planned, and I was running late. Before I knew it, it was 5 p.m., and I was getting in my car to head home. I called ahead to my parents and siblings to explain what was going on, and when I thought I would arrive. They responded by telling me it wasn't a problem, and they would see me later. Arriving at dinner, I was frustrated and annoyed with my tardiness. But, I was greeted by my family in a much happier mood-my frustration, and annoyance diminished. I felt like I was leaving work and my chaotic Monday behind. While eating, one of my family members used the word "lame" to describe a situation they were frustrated about. I responded by asking for clarification on their experience. Then I shared with them information, and an explanation of how the use of that phrase is harmful. I gained this knowledge and insight from a professional development opportunity at work. Before I knew it, I had shared my insight with six of my family members-many of them appreciating the conversation and stating they had never really thought about the use of the phrase before. Just when I thought my personal and professional life were in conflict and colliding together-they found a way to positively intersect and benefit one another. UMR-ACUHO realizes that we navigate life as humans. What we experience at work and in our lives impacts the other. We celebrated the 50th anniversary of UMR-ACUHO at the annual conference. If you look at the work of the Program Committee and the various program sessions offered at the conference, you see sessions that highlight the overlap and connectedness of our lives and our profession. These sessions help members find connections, advice, support, and guidance as they navigate their daily lives. As we look ahead this year, the work of the UMR-ACUHO committees will provide tools, resources and insight that will help you as you navigate the balance and influence of your professional and personal life. The experiences and relationships we have in our professional careers impact our lives outside of the office. And our lives beyond the office enhance and influence our work as Student Housing professionals. Some days the balance and connectedness of the two are challenging while other days feel like a seamless interwoven exchange of the two. Your experience is individual and unique. Own it. Embrace it. Ask for help navigating it. There is no right or wrong way-there is only the way you experience it.
Inside UMR
President's Corner (Continued)
AIM Committee Chair Chloé Smith University of Nebraska at Omaha
Sponsors and Exhibits Committee Chair Larissa Buster College of Saint Mary
Jacque McKenna University of Kansas jmckenna@ku.edu
Social Justice Committee Chair Christian Robinson University of Kansas
Communications Committee Chair Pamela Lisowe University of Wisconsin - Madison
Communications Committee Chair Matt Diisher North Dakota State College of Science
Program Committee Chair Theresa Luensmann University of Nebraska - Lincoln
Social Justice Committee Chair Jess Girdler Kansas State University
PD&T Committee Chair Michael Mueller University of Iowa
Program Committee Chair Alycia Smith Iowa State University
UMR-ACUHO 2020 Committee Chairs
MIC Committee Chair Brandon Kesler Wichita State University
PD&T Committee Chair Megan Nemec University of Kansas
Annual Conference Fee Waiver Recipient Reflections
Submitted by UMR-ACUHO Membership Involvement Committee
Benjamin Clark Graduate Student Recipient University of St. Thomas
The Membership Involvement Committee once again sponsored three Annual Conference fee waivers to an undergraduate, graduate, and full-time housing staff member. This support allowed recipients to experience the Annual Conference in St. Paul, Minnesota. Each participant was asked to reflect upon their experience and share with the Association what this opportunity meant to them personally and professionally. From their own words, you will read how this was a tremendous opportunity for all three to learn and take their experience back to their home institutions. We look forward to seeing what they do at their home institutions and seeing them at future conferences! My experience at the 2019 UMR-ACUHO Annual Conference was highly influential and beneficial to my professional and personal growth as a residence life professional.I am extraordinarily grateful for the opportunity to attend my first of (hopefully) many more UMR-ACUHO conferences. Attending conference sessions helped me learn new practices that I can take back and utilize at my university. All of the sessions I attended were acutely insightful and helped me reflect and eventually grow my own strategies and practices. Attending the Conference Connection Luncheon was a lot of fun, as it was interesting to meet other first-time attendees to connect and interact with, but also to learn from “veteran” attendees who had a lot of wisdom and insight as to how to make the most of the UMR-ACUHO experience. Overall, my biggest takeaways from attending the annual conference were the connections I made with other housing professionals. It is difficult being a recent graduate in my position, as well as being the sole housing person at my small university. It is hard to know if what I am doing is the right thing at times. I often find I get down on myself when I make mistakes, but while at this conference I learned many other people have made the exact same mistakes I have. Talking about them with people in the housing field really helped me feel validated, and everyone was very supportive and encouraged me to grow from the mistakes. I am beyond thankful I was able to attend this year’s annual conference, and I hope to be there in 2020! The UMR-ACUHO annual conference was an incredible opportunity for me to build connections, learn more about working as a housing professional, and ultimately feel an overwhelming sense of support from those working within our region. The experience itself proved to be extremely valuable, especially as a graduate student with no previous experience in housing and who is hoping to build a solid foundation for a long-lasting career in Residence Life. I found several opportunities to build connections throughout the conference. The first (and extremely helpful) opportunity I found was the Connections Luncheon. Being placed into a group of both new and seasoned professionals truly helped me set a foundation for building connections at the conference, and allowed me to recognize some familiar faces while attending sessions and networking. I also found I was able to connect with people while volunteering as a greeter. Volunteering definitely helped me feel as though I was connected to the organization, once again making me feel at home within UMR-ACUHO. The final thing I found to be beneficial in making connections was the ability to network with those presenting and sharing their research and processes used at their institutions. Connecting with housing professionals that are doing research that aligns with your interests as a professional is invaluable and extremely encouraging. Some of the most impactful sessions I attended and learned a lot from focused on how to be mindful and self-aware as a professional in Residence Life. Overall, attending the UMR-ACUHO 2019 conference was an opportunity I am extremely grateful for, and I was able to create memories and gain knowledge that I am excited to take with me into the housing field! From the time I walked through the double doors of the River Center, to the moment I said goodbye to the many people I had met, I felt welcomed and at home. While driving to the conference, I was able to take a closer look at the sessions and the topics that would be covered. After reading the first couple of descriptions, I came to the conclusion most of the topics were geared towards individuals who were in a Graduate Assistant position or higher. But in my first session, “Misdirected Mentorship”, I did not feel out of place. The presenters made the topic so palpable that even an undergrad like myself was able to take away some key insights on mentorship. I have attended conferences for other industries and felt that sessions served as thinly-veiled bragging about accomplishments. In contrast, UMR–ACUHO seemed like a genuine effort to educate fellow Residence Life staff and encourage each other to keep working hard for students. I thoroughly enjoyed my experience, and I am excited to try and attend next year in North Dakota. In every session I attended, I was able to learn something and was educated on what my next course of action should be as I look into attending graduate school. I really appreciate how much time and effort was put into hosting; the passion and fervor for the conference were clear in the organization. In summation, my time at UMR–ACUHO was enlightening and extremely beneficial as I more closely examine what a career in Residence Life would entail.
Carly Sternhagen Full-time Professional Recipient Indian University of North America
Sumner Dolleman Undergraduate Student Recipient Drake University
You are a Hall Director at a mid-sized, public, state university in the midwest. Your hall houses about 400 co-ed students, many who identify as first generation, lower middle class, domestic, white students. About 20% of your hall is made up of international students. You supervise a team of 8 Resident Assistants (RAs), as well as a Senior Desk Coordinator who oversees your front desk operations. It is October 2020 and 3 of your RAs are hosting a program for your entire residence hall surrounding the upcoming presidential election. The program is called “Floats and Votes.” You’ve spoken with the 3 RAs who are hosting the program minimally because you were out sick for 2 days the previous week. One RA, John, is a second-year returning RA and has taken the lead on planning this event with two other first-year RAs. You arrive at the program 20 minutes after it has started. When you arrive, there are about 75 students in attendance. You see people scattered around the lobby participating in different activities such as registering to vote, watching a presidential debate live stream, and talking about current political topics. You go grab a root beer float and a student, Hayden, stops and asks to speak with you. Hayden identifies as a first-year, male, white, upper class (SES) student. You step out of the lobby and into your office to talk to Hayden. In the conversation in your office, Hayden explains that he came to the program because the RA on his floor, John, asked his entire floor to attend and Hayden wanted to make sure he was registered to vote in the upcoming presidential election. Hayden was participating in one of the activities at the program where students were able to discuss their views on different topics and see which presidential candidate their viewpoints most aligned with. This activity was facilitated by RA John. In the activity, Hayden shared his opinion that the United States should deport all illegal immigrants and a large wall should be built around all borders of the United States to stop illegal immigration. When Hayden shared this, RA John cut Hayden off and said that Hayden’s view is not an inclusive viewpoint and did not support University values of diversity and inclusion. Hayden says that about 5 students were part of the discussion and they all remained silent during this interaction. Hayden walked away from the activity and found you. Hayden says he feels unsafe to stay on his floor because RA John told all of the other RAs (two of whom are international students) that Hayden doesn’t believe they should be allowed to be in the country. ● How do you respond to Hayden in the moment? ● Was Hayden’s right to free speech inhibited by this? Why or why not? ● What follow-up, if any, would you do after the program? ● What impact, if any, does John’s role as an RA have on his right to exercise his free speech? ● What follow-up, if any, would you do with RA John? ● What follow-up, if any, would you do with all of your RAs? ● What follow-up, if any, would you do with Hayden the following day or week? ● What follow-up, if any, would you do with the students that witnessed this interaction? ● What, if anything, do you change about planning and implementing similar programs in the future?
Submitted by the UMR Professional Development & Training Committee
Case Study Corner: 2019 UMR Annual Conference Case Study Competition
Robert E. Mosier Professional Enrichment Award
Masters Level Award BARB HAGGERTY University of Wisconsin- Madison
JAVIER GUTIERREZ Hamline University
KENIESE EVANS University of Iowa
UMR-ACUHO 2019 AWARD WINNERS
Outstanding New Professional
Bachelors Level Award AISHA LEE Kansas State University
William B. Sweet Distinguished Service Award
Drake Martin Commitment to Social Justice Award
Social Justice in Action Award
LINDA MULROY-BOWDEN University of Wisconsin- Platteville
KYLEAH BELL University of Wisconsin- La Crosse
Navigating the White Gaze as a Black Grad
AMOLIA SCHUMACHER North Dakota State University
AIM Higher Award for Research and Assessment
First Group
PD&T Case Study Winners
CORI DEMING University of Kansas
Best New Presenter
SIERRA PANCOAST St. Thomas University
Aramis Watson University of Kansas
KATE SCHMIT University of Kansas
JORDAN SALINSKY Kansas State University
Top Mini Programs
GRANT HENRY University of Minnesota Twin Cities
ALEX MILLER St. Olaf College
DOMINGO A. COTO University of Minnesota Twin Cities
NEFF TYNER Kansas State University
HANNAH AMANN University of Wisconsin- La Crosse
LINDSAY BORKIN St. Thomas University
Curriculum Development: From Ideas to Reality
COURTNEY STUCK Wartburg College
AIM Research and Assessment Grant
Not Pictured
Frank J Traver President's Scholarship
Not Picture Support Staff Recognition Award Recipients
Second Group
Best Inside UMR Article
AUSTIN QUARLES
Best Perspectives Articles
Religious Expression among Students in Housing CHRISTY MORAN CRAFT Kansas State University
New Presenter Travel Scholarship
TRAVIS D. SCHILA
UMR-ACUHO Perspectives Awards
Best Personal Side Article
Best Overall Article
KATIE LEIBEL
Top 5 Programs
Student Development Theories - Critical Perspectives JESSICA GUNZBURGER University of Minnesota Twin Cities
"Get It Together, Damn It!": Racism in Supervision JESSICA GUNZBURGER University of Minnesota Twin Cities
ASHLEY UNMACHT University of Kansas
SHILOH SUSAG EMMA MARSHALL JOSHUA SCHROETTER
Centering Voices: Reflections of Women of Color COCO DU & MARIAN ADEN Macalester College
Best Student Side Article
ANA SOLA University of Kansas
CHLOE SMITH
ABBEY GILLILAND-KING Kansas State University
A Christian and an Atheist Walk Into a Bar
2020 Conference Program Proposals
Spring is well underway, and program proposal submissions are open! If you have presented before or are just beginning to think about professional development opportunities for next year, we want to hear from you. There is room for all voices at the UMR Annual Conference as we look to learn with and from one another. Presenting at UMR is a great way to get involved within the region and is an opportunity to share based on your expertise and passion areas! As an organization, UMR-ACUHO strives to provide service to its member institutions by sharing knowledge and educating one another, conducting research, and sharing resources. One of the best ways to do this is by presenting a program at the annual UMR-ACUHO conference! The Program Committee is excited to share some “hot topics” we’ve identified as potential program topics for the 2020 annual conference. Our hot topics were generated from 2019 conference feedback, suggestions from past conference attendees, and through brainstorming sessions by the current program committee. Mid-Level/Senior Housing Officer Development- We encourage current mid-level and senior housing officers to submit a program to share knowledge with current and upcoming mid-level/senior housing officers. Suggested program topics include, but are not limited to: budget management, supervising professional/ graduate students, building off your institution’s strategic plan, policy development and implementation, moving beyond the mid-level process, and impact of national/governmental policies. Holistic Wellness- The Program Committee has identified a desire and need for programs with a focus on holistic wellness. Possible topics include, but are not limited to: mental health, physical health, emotional health, and financial health. Social Justice, Equity, and Inclusion- Social justice, equity, and inclusion work is essential in our field of higher education. Suggested program topics generated through both brainstorming and feedback include advocacy and allyship, ongoing social justice education and training, identity work, and the integration of social justice, equity, and inclusion in your workday. Departmental Operations- We challenge professionals to consider presenting a program targeted toward departmental operations. Suggested program topics include occupancy management, facilities management (i.e. new construction, renovation, public/private partnerships), and interdepartmental operations and collaborations. We encourage potential presenters to consider audiences of all institution types and sizes. Training, Recruitment, and Ongoing Development- As our departments and institutions grow and evolve, it is imperative to reevaluate our training and recruitment processes. Suggested program ideas for this topic include, but are not limited to: professional staff hiring/training practices, student staff hiring/training practices, ongoing professional development, and developing our students and staff through meaningful conversations. One of our goals as an organization is to stay relevant and up to date on current issues and trends impacting the field of higher education. By submitting a program, you’re providing the opportunity for professionals to come together to share dialogue and knowledge to support each other and our field. Getting ready to submit a program to present? Make sure to include these pieces in your proposal as you prepare your submission: Program Topic- What do you want to present on? Do one of our “hot topics” excite you, or are you looking to present on something else? Either way, make sure to clearly outline your topic so attendees can make informed decisions in attending your presentation. Presenter (or Presenters!) Information- Are you presenting by yourself, or with a peer or peers? One person will need to be designated as the primary presenter and contact person for the Program Committee. However, please make sure to list information for all presenters who are assisting with your program! Audience- Who will your audience be? Will it be geared more towards entry level professionals, or mid and senior level staff? Make sure to include this, so that we can market your program to its intended audience. Length and Type of Session- What length of session would you like to host? There are four different session lengths to choose: Collaborative Session - 15 minute sessions within a 60 minute block, has multiple presenters Mini Session - 30 minutes Traditional Session - 60 minutes Extended Session - 120 minutes, plus a 15 minute break halfway through Structure and Outline- How do you see yourself presenting your program? In what ways will you engage the audience who attends your session? As part of your proposal you will need to include an abstract for your program, which should provide an accurate depiction of your plan, the content that will be covered, and how your presentation will connect with the ACUHO-I Core Competencies. You will also be asked to identify the level of audience participation- low, moderate, or high. As you think about your program proposal, keep these components in mind. It will be important to answer them all fully when you submit! Maybe you don’t feel ready to be a presenter at this time, but you know someone who could be an important voice to hear from. Nominate them for a topic and encourage them to present at UMR-ACUHO 2020! You can nominate presenters at https://forms.gle/CFvtkAjx9vu6k21V9, or by scanning the following QR Code: Are you excited about the prospect of presenting, but still have questions? Feel free to attend our webinar on April 15th, 2020 at 12:15PM. If you aren’t able to attend the webinar, you can contact the Program Committee at umracuho.programming@gmail.com. We look forward to reading your proposal!
Submitted by the UMR Program Committee
Personal Side
When Professional Meets Survivor
Reading through previous Perspectives articles, I came across Jacque McKenna’s piece on vulnerability. In her article, she said, “… I had to be honest with myself. I had to break down the armor and replace it with vulnerability and resiliency” (Perspectives, Spring 2018). I had the distinct honor of having Jacque as my RELI faculty mentor, and reading her words made me think “FINALLY! Someone who is just as blunt as me, but with finesse.” Jacque truly lives out her words, and I learned a great deal about authenticity from her this past summer. Rereading her article this October and thinking back to RELI, I’m reminded of my own experience with vulnerability and the impact it has had on my career thus far. This past Halloween marked ten years since adding the title of “Sexual Assault Survivor” to my life’s resume. I let that experience dictate my life until grad school, when a dear friend allowed me to be vulnerable in sharing our experiences with sexual assault. I remember, at the time, thinking, “Oh my God! I’m not alone anymore…” and then immediately reminding myself of every statistic I had learned. Knowing one other person in college who shared my survivor identity, I was saddened that my network had now grown from one person to two. Part of me felt defeated, but part of me also felt a fire to change that. When I started my role as a Residence Hall Director five years ago, I was on a mission to do one thing: change lives. Truthfully, I didn’t know what that meant at the time, but I knew in my heart that’s what I wanted to do. To get to know my student staff on a deeper level in my first year, we spent an evening asking each other questions. Before we finished for the night, a few of my staff members directed a question at me, “Why do you do what you do? Why did you choose this?” For me, it was simple: to change lives the way my Hall Directors did for me. I didn’t plan on sharing my whole experience, but the words seemed to fall out faster than I could put my hands over my mouth to hold them in. “When I was a freshman in college, I was sexually assaulted, and I was fortunate enough to have amazing people around me in Residential Life who supported me, helped me feel safe, and who allowed me to talk when I was ready. I wanted to be that for someone else, and I want to help make ‘survivor’ less of a dirty word or identity.” That night, two out of my sixteen staff members stopped me and disclosed their own survivor identities and thanked me for opening up about my own story. At that moment, I felt liberated and humbled. Looking back, I think I planned to silence my survivor identity for fear that my staff and supervisor, our students, their parents, and colleagues would judge me as less capable of doing my job if it (my identity) was out there. I’ve noticed this in other colleagues I’ve worked with as well. In our profession we do the work to help students feel safe in being themselves. We engage in conversations and conference sessions about helping students own their experiences and validating who they are, but to be frank, we stink at doing the same for ourselves and our colleagues.. Holding dual identities and being open about those identities from day one has been my way of putting humanity back into the work. It has been a way to connect with others (both students and colleagues) who hold a similar identity, to help them share when they are ready, to help them find resources or networks, and to know that they are not alone in their journey. Working as a survivor has also come with its challenges. I’ve had students who share parallel experiences to my own. I’ve had colleagues assume I’d be triggered when a Timely Warning email goes out. I’ve been challenged by supervising two buildings where both the survivor and alleged live, and yet, I wouldn’t change a thing. Being open about my experience has helped me in far more ways than it has challenged me. It reminds me to take pause and process with all those involved in the reporting process, and, maybe most importantly, it has fueled a fire in me to build teams that recognize when they need help or time to metaphorically refill their own cups. I am transparent about the days where managing PTSD overwhelms me and I need time to take care of myself. If we are going to expect student staff to know their limits and know it is okay to take care of themselves, we have to model that behavior. We have to be okay doing the work with ourselves. The goal of changing lives has never seemed easy to me, but a large part of changing lives is changing how we talk about what impacts our lives. While I don’t know everything, I want to share what I’ve learned about support and balance. The first four pieces of advice come from what I’ve learned by holding my own identity as a sexual assault survivor. The last piece of advice is knowledge I’ve gained as a professional and ally to others holding a similar identity. 1. Bad days happen. It’s okay not to have it all together. It’s okay not to know what you need, and it’s okay to be vulnerable. I’m open about my experience and where it is appropriate, because it’s what has worked for me. Transparency is something I value, and it is something that has allowed me the ability to model self-care with those I serve. I’ve learned so much about challenging stigmas, but that only happens when I’m willing fight the stigma myself. 2. Build a support team. Part of this includes self-awareness and knowing what your warning signs of stress are. For example, on my trigger days, I pick at my fingers, drink way too much coffee, and say things like, “It’s fine though”, even when it’s not, or “I just can’t shut my brain off.” When my supports know these warning signs, they suggest a walk, help me focus and create priority lists, or stop by and just chat about mutual interests. It shifts my focus and helps me manage but is certainly not expected either. 3. Know ways to support yourself. Let’s face it—sometimes we don’t want to feel like we are bothering someone. That goes for a lot of people, not just survivors. Sometimes we Just need to be alone in order to process and move forward, or we just need to know we have the power to work through things on our own. When I need two minutes to refocus, I make scrapbook cards and write a note of appreciation for someone I think could use a smile, motivation, or recognition. Making cards has also helped me to remember the things about this work that I absolutely love. What fuels your fire for the work that you do, or what activities help you recharge? 4. Know your resources. Many of our campuses have counseling services available to students. There are also hotlines, websites, books, and online support networks, nationwide, but what is available or best for you? Does your insurance cover/offer reduced prices for counseling in your area? Does your community or campus have survivor advocates? Are there employee assistance programs? Where do you direct your students, and where do you go? 5. Lastly, challenge yourself with “understanding.” No two survivor stories are the same, and often we can do more harm saying “I understand” than we do good. Think about it: do you really understand a personal experience someone is sharing with you, or are you saying that in an effort to connect or comfort someone? Think not about understanding, but rather actively listening. It seems so simple, but it’s one thing that I’ve seen make a giant impact when I talk with students or colleagues who have been through trauma, especially sexual assault. I cannot possibly understand what someone is going through or went through, but I can listen and identify that someone’s journey sounds difficult, stressful, or overwhelming. The work we do can be hard, but it offers so many rewards when we allow ourselves the freedom to be our whole selves. In her keynote speech at the UMR annual conference, Kao Kalia Yang challenged us to think about the character we are in someone else’s story. I encourage you to take a moment and think back to the character you needed in college and consider how you can be that person now. I needed a badass woman who went through becoming a survivor—someone to not only say “it wasn’t your fault,” but who showed me that living as a survivor didn’t mean you had to hide in the shadows—someone who modeled being a survivor on good days and bad. Give yourself the liberty to be who you needed, and know that in the right settings, honesty, vulnerability, and resilience can change (and in some cases save) the lives of the students we are so lucky to work with. References McKenna, J. (2018). My Grief Observed: A Journey of Resilience. Perspectives, 54(1),
"If we are going to expect student staff to know their limits and know that it is okay to take care of themselves, we have to model that behavior."
Submitted by Brooke Walker-Merry, Residence Hall Director, South Dakota State University
Brooke Walker-Merry Residence Hall Director South Dakota State University brooke.walker@sdstate.edu
What the Deaf Community Has Taught Me About Communication
Since 2013, I have visited Jamaica six different times; the first five of which I visited as a part of a mission trip to work alongside those engaged in full-time ministry at the Caribbean Christian Centre for the Deaf (CCCD), a K-12 school for the deaf in the heart of Kingston, Jamaica. It was a trip I began taking while a college student at the University of Northern Iowa, and then had the ability to continue going on to serve as a leader while working at Minnesota State University, Mankato. My most recent trip took place in November 2019, after several years of going with a team and building relationships with different individuals in the country. That trip was honestly just for fun- getting to help where a hand was needed, but more to take a break toward the end of the semester. When I took my first trip in March 2013, my only knowledge about the deaf community was that many of them used sign language to communicate and that I only knew how to sign two things; the letters of the alphabet and the phrase ‘yellow toilet’. My journey learning about deaf culture and communication with individuals who are deaf is seven years in the making and nowhere near the finish line. Truth be told, I don’t think there can ever be an end when it comes to learning about another person’s story and culture. Several years ago, a small group of teenage Jamaican boys attending school at the CCCD developed an idea to begin brewing coffee using beans that a deaf farmer was growing and roasting in the hills of St. Elizabeth after they visited the farmer on a field trip. After a while, that idea turned into a social enterprise where youth who are deaf are being trained to be baristas and then are able to seek employment at coffee shops across the country. The company, Deaf Can! Coffee, has expanded beyond just roasting and making coffee/espresso to locally baked goods being sold across the country. The “Deaf Can!” mindset has empowered deaf Jamaicans to build their confidence and see themselves as individuals who can do anything they set their minds to; flipping the view that the deaf are dumb while building up Jamaican youth who are deaf to believe in themselves and the abilities they have. Deaf Can! Coffee has given students a place of belonging and a platform for the deaf community to educate others about the deaf culture. I have had the opportunity to see some of those baristas give a presentation on LACK before, and I believe it perfectly sums up this concept. LACK stands for Language, Affirmation, Community, Knowledge - and serves as an explanation of the deaf culture in Jamaica as well as a literal representation of how many people view individuals who are deaf. The biggest thing that needs to be understood about individuals who are deaf prior to any talk on communication is that they don’t lack anything. While many may look at a person who is deaf and see a disability, many individuals who are deaf see ability. Just because they lack the ability to hear, does not mean they lack the ability to communicate. So if we understand that individuals who are deaf do not lack and we understand that their communication abilities are not less than those who can hear, then we understand that they are just simply different. Knowing this, we can finally begin to understand what individuals who are deaf have taught me about communication. Throughout my years of school, I’ve been taught the most important part of communication is what isn’t said in a conversation. That shouldn’t come as a huge surprise to many, given that non-verbals make up 93% of communication with the remaining 7% being what is actually said. In a world filled with our heads buried in phones, though, that non-verbal communication can get lost. Think about your conversation habits: you might recognize that you spend a lot of time talking to others via social media/texting or that when your conversations are in person, you are speaking to them while preoccupied with something else. While individuals who are deaf can certainly use social media/texting to converse with others, non-verbals make up the entirety of their in-person communication. Their communication primarily happens through sign language. BUT what you may not realize is how much more important eye contact is in their communication. Individuals who are able to hear can speak to another person in front of them without ever having to take their eyes off their computer; I know I’ve been guilty of this when working in my own office and someone swings in for something quick. Far too often, I keep my eyes glued to my computer while passively listening to what they have to say. Individuals who are deaf use their eyes to both communicate and also to show their desire to not engage in a conversation. I have seen it happen too many times to count where two individuals who are deaf will be joking around in a conversation together and then one of them simply looks away to end the argument after signing their last few words. I mentioned before that I went on a trip to Jamaica on my own in November 2019, and that experience really helped solidify my thoughts on this writing. I arrived in the country on a Friday afternoon and Carlyle picked me up from the airport. I spent Saturday watching Carlyle and another barista, Travis, make drinks for people and heard time and time again how much the people enjoyed their drinks and were impressed with the baristas’ abilities. I met their “Thank you” with “You’re welcome”, and signed their gratitude to the baristas so that they could know of their appreciation too. However, it made me think about how these two individuals have gone through their lives with many in the hearing community not being able to communicate with them. They have walked through life in social situations not knowing what conversations are happening around them, or they have watched TV and not known what was happening. The next morning, I woke up and attended a bible study in the cafe on site at CCCD. There were five of us in the room; four individuals who were deaf and me, the only person who could hear. Then I understood. I sat for an hour in silence. Watching the four individuals who are deaf communicate back and forth using sign, non-verbals, facial expressions, and emotions to communicate with one another. And there I was, alone. Isolated from the situation, catching bits and pieces of the study from what little sign I knew but for the most part, unaware of what was going on around me. individuals with hearing loss are intelligent humans who may not communicate with those who are hearing in the same way two individuals who can hear would, but they are still able to communicate. They are fully capable of doing whatever they set their mind to; they just need access to be able to do it. What good does a video training do for an individual who is deaf if there are no subtitles? What good does a microphone at the front of a stage do if there is not an interpreter there too? I’ve learned quite a bit during my time in Jamaica, but as I stated before, I don’t believe my education will ever be complete when it involves learning about other cultures. We have a lot to learn from the deaf community - both about their culture and how they utilize their hands, eyes, lips, and non-verbals to communicate with the world. Knowing that there is so much more for all of us to learn, moving forward, the question I ask of you is this- how can you better serve these individuals in your daily life and your work as you strive to give individuals within the deaf community better access to the resources they need to be successful in your spaces?
Submitted by Daniel Vorwerk, Hall Director Minnesota State University, Mankato
Hi, I am Courtney (she/her/hers). I am an atheist. Here is my story: My first day of training at the University of Northern Iowa (UNI) before I started graduate school, I announced to my new team that I was an atheist. Coming from my first full-time job as a Residence Director at a small private Catholic college, this was probably unexpected. This was also the first time I had said to anyone other than my partner that I was an atheist. I spent the majority of my life living as a Christian, going to church, counseling at church camp, and even being a chaplain in college. Coming out in my atheist identity, especially in a work setting in rural Iowa, was an extremely vulnerable moment. Part of the fear of coming out as atheist comes from the stereotypes I have seen. Atheists can be seen as anti-church or as hating religious people, when really it is just that I do not believe there is a God. The greatest fear I have of opening up as an atheist to my students or colleagues is they will feel like they cannot talk about their religion around me or that I am judging them. I never want to alienate my students in their search for their own spiritual identity, especially because I largely work with first-year, traditional-age students who are still changing and growing in creating their own story separate from their community. Because the word “atheist” carries a negative connotation, I only disclose my identity to my students when they ask. I have worked at two small-private colleges and one mid-size public university. I feel lucky to have never felt like my job was on the line because of my identity; however I recognize that is not the case at every institution. What has been important to me, especially while navigating the private sector of higher education, is finding places where my values were in line with what the school (and department) believed, finding support from my supervisor or director to own my identity publicly, and to have a very clear understanding of expectations surrounding requirements of faith-based event attendance. Hi, I am Hannah (she/her/hers). I am a Christian. Here is my story: I have a lot of privilege as someone who identifies as a Christian when it comes to working in Higher Education. I get breaks around my celebrated holidays, I do not have to “come out” as others do with their religious identities, I can discuss my practices without many, if any, repercussions, and many students also have similar practices. Growing up Catholic, I did not think much about my religion as it was everywhere I looked - in my family, at school, etc. Once in undergraduate school, I dug deeper and saw that many of my beliefs did not align with that of Catholicism. I transitioned to being a non-denominational Christian in college as I felt more connected to God and His purpose for my life. When it came to graduate school, I continued much of my unlearning of what I had grown up with when it came to my religious identity. Identifying as a Christian, I am aware that many have been hurt by folx who identify with this religious identity. When letting others know how I identify, I have noticed many may be reluctant to engage, knowing the following perceptions are reality for some folx I work with: Christians can be against people who are in the LGBT+ community, seen as “goodie-two-shoes” often judging people’s actions, don’t want to talk to people who don’t believe in God, are set in their ways of how they view religion, and have no struggles at all because of their morals. I have worked to combat these misconceptions as I do not identify with them inside or outside of my workplace. Working at both private and public institutions, I have learned at both how to navigate these types of conversations. Personally, I have found that at private institutions, there are two extremes: not talking about religion at all or a “this is the only way” mentality. While working at public institutions, I have been able to have more productive conversations about faith. From book readings to connecting with Interfaith Youth Core, I was able to work with both colleagues and students about interfaith dialogue and the place it should have on campus. Here is how we work together when our identities collide: When people are aware of our differing identities and see us working together successfully, they often wonder, “How do you work together and support each other?” Part of our success comes from the acceptance and understanding we have of each other’s beliefs. Courtney understands the important role Hannah’s faith plays in her life. Although Courtney does not believe in prayer, she will suggest praying or mention how many people she knows are praying for Hannah when she has a rough time. Similarly, Hannah does not have expectations that Courtney consider going to church or that prayer might solve some of her problems. We are able to have our own beliefs without disrespecting the beliefs of the other. We also enjoy engaging in conversations like this! Oftentimes religion is discussed when a more difficult or vulnerable topic, such as race or sexual orientation, does not want to be talked about. This does a disservice to both topics and does not help us grow well in our development of identities. Our friendship challenges and supports one another more because of our vastly different perspectives. Therefore, we can help model healthy conversations about spirituality with our colleagues and students. Whether we are talking about this topic around a lunch table, presenting about these theories to our cohorts, writing this article, or engaging in interfaith dialogue through events on campus, we are growing to understand each other’s perspectives and how to better serve those around us. For example, when we worked together at UNI our department was able to engage with the Interfaith Youth Core (IFYC). Hannah was able to work with the student staff who made up the Inclusive Communities Team and Courtney showed support by being present at the variety of events, both demonstrating how we can support these conversations in different ways. Another way we see our religious identities positively impact our work is through our ability to recognize when a student may need a kind of support we are not as equipped to provide. For example, if Courtney has a student or a Resident Assistant who is struggling with faith or needs faith-based advice, she can still listen to that student but also refer them to Hannah. Hannah has that lens to support that student differently than Courtney and that is okay. There is an understanding that both perspectives have valuable support to provide to the students we work with and it is okay to refer across faith lines if that means a better experience for our students. Now you may be asking yourselves, “How do these conversations come up in work with students and coworkers?” Many people often utilize places of worship as a community outside of work. Especially in housing, it is important to have outside communities due to living where we work - whether this is a faith- based group or not. Because so much of our personal life is tied to our work life in housing, a question asked a lot when moving to a new place for our jobs is, “Have you found a church?” In a nice attempt to either make small talk or provide helpful tips in the transition to a new community, it can be awkward or even feel unsafe to answer this question in a workplace setting with people who will shortly become your colleagues. Both of us have worked at a Catholic institution, and it was typically assumed by both staff and students that our identities align with the Catholic belief. Oftentimes when working at these religiously-affiliated institutions, conversations of faith come up, and it is important to remember that we may not all have the same experiences. This is where it can be important to do research when looking into working at an institution that does not align with your own beliefs. There is a difference between inviting a person to go to personal or campus faith gatherings and expecting it as a part of the job. In our field we are working with students who are learning, growing, and changing. As our students figure out who they are, this also includes their openness to other perspectives, including political beliefs. When talking about how to support our students during elections and civil dialogue, the topic of politics comes up, and politics is very much enmeshed in the topic of religion. Often times we associate the Christian faith with more conservative views, and a less religious person with more liberal views, even though that isn’t always the case. Similarly, when discussing topics like support of LGBT+ students, people may bring up their spiritual beliefs and how they have been harmed by the church or how their church has affected their thoughts. Why is this identity not always discussed within social justice and inclusion? As mentioned above, this identity is often used as a scapegoat to avoid talking about other topics that make us uncomfortable such as race or gender identity.One’s religious/non-religious identity is not a visible identity and often goes assumed depending on where they work or the other identities they hold. Many people have been harmed by religion based on other identities and we recognize there most definitely can be trauma associated with these conversations. However, if you are in a healthy and safe place to have these conversations, we have seen how they can also be positive and a place of healing for previous misconceptions and very real experiences. Through our friendship and our work as colleagues, we have seen how interfaith support can enhance our ability to support our students and engage in real, honest social justice conversations. French novelist Marcel Proust once wrote “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” By working side-by-side and having interfaith dialogue in our regular conversations inside and outside of the workplace, we can begin to see more clearly how to make a positive impact on our institutions. References Marcel Proust: Having/seeing with new eyes. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.age-of-the-sage.org/quotations/ proust_having_seeing_with_new_eyes.html
Daniel Vorwerk Hall Director Minnesota State University, Mankato daniel.vorwerk@mnsu.edu www.danielvorwerk.com
Submitted by Hannah Amann, Hall Director, University of Wisconsin La-Crosse And by, Courtney Trip-Stuck, Area Coordinator, Wartburg College
A Christian and An Atheist Walk into a Bar
Refining Our Vision, Sharpening Our Focus
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Courtney Tripp-Stuck Area Coordinator Wartburg College courtney.stuck@wartburg.edu
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Hannah Amann Hall Director University of Wisconsin- La Crosse hamann2@uwlax.edu
“I'm fine.” This has been a phrase in my vocabulary for as long as I can remember. When I am asked how I am or what’s up, it slides off my tongue so instinctively that I don’t give it a second thought.This slight suppression of my emotions has always been present in my life, even as a child. My family playfully teased me about being masculine, since I was the emotional child in a family of two older brothers, my mom, and my dad. As I progressed through college and graduate school, I continued to suppress the stress, anxiety, heartbreak, and growing exhaustion with the quick and simple “I’m fine.” It allowed an escape from a potential emotionally explosive interaction while letting me continue to pretend I had it all together. Over the past year, I had a reality check that what I am doing both personally and professionally is unhealthy to the max! While my story is not unique, I still want to share it as I am continuing to grow and heal from it. This past February, I found a resident of the hall I supervise who completed suicide. I distinctly remember having the multitude of hall coordinators, assistant directors, RAs, counselors, and police officers ask if I was okay. I choked on my words multiple times but effortlessly allowed “I’m fine” to justify my trauma. Even with over half of our department’s leadership team present, I could not be honest and vulnerable. This was no fault of the University of Iowa, my supervisors or those around me; it was solely my response to the incident. The following few days are still a bit of a blur, but four days later, I walked into the unfamiliar building where our Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is located, with no idea what words would come out of my mouth. See, I had the delusion that “I was fine”. I had spent so much time and so many years saying it that I didn’t know how to acknowledge my emotions in an authentic way. In addition to not knowing how to acknowledge my emotions, I felt guilty for seeking support. I thought, “How can I claim trauma that belonged to my student who took their life?” When the counselor at EAP asked how I was I started with “I’m fine.” It wasn’t until she asked where I lived and I told her that her face changed and she softly said “Oh.” That was my breaking moment. All of the emotions I had bottled up burst out as if they were Mentos thrown into Diet Coke. I was, in fact, NOT fine. Even though I was struggling with telling myself I was not fine, I started a journey of authentically taking care of myself. I left that appointment knowing I needed to knock down the emotional wall I had spent years building. .The next step was to contact a counselor, who I still see, and I am still processing that trauma (and the trauma of others). This has caused me to reflect on my interactions with others, personally and professionally. I started to listen to the number of times a friend or colleague would say, “I’m fine.” I started to ask more authentic questions like “What does that mean for you?” and ”Are you really fine?” I began to reflect on how I talked with people about mental health and demonstrate I am actually “walking the walk” in terms of support and authenticity. I have begun to discuss with those in my social circles how dangerous saying “I’m fine” can be and that it takes just a moment to push a little bit farther and to genuinely check on someone else. I am, by no means, mentally healthy. I still have more bad habits than good ones, but I am not doing it alone. My partner is starting to get used to me openly saying, “I am not fine.” As I prepared to write all of this down for this article, I realized my journey has evolved more in the past 10 months than it had in the seven years since grad school. I will never forget the young person who felt like taking their life was their only escape. Lastly, for those who find themselves hearing “I’m fine” from a friend, colleague, student, family member, or anyone, I challenge you to dig deeper and ask questions. I know my story is not everyone’s story, and I also know that many who respond to traumatic events, spend more time focused on others than themselves. If you find yourself not having anyone to share with, know I will listen.
Mike Mueller Hall Coordinator University of Iowa michael-p-mueller@uiowa.edu
I'm Fine...
"Even though I was struggling with telling myself I was not fine, I had started a journey of authentically taking care of myself"
Submitted by Mike Mueller, University of Iowa, Hall Coordinator
A few short years into the game as a Student Affairs professional, I am already tired- tired of the microaggressions, competition, and the game of workplace politics. Frankly, that is a short list of the things that actually occur on a daily basis. The only issue I sometimes cannot move beyond is the workplace politics.I do want to preface that this article is not meant to blame, but to serve as an observation of the continued issues I see working as a professional in Student Affairs. I have some responsibility in participating in the hate-filled actions of Student Affairs professionals and I can quit as easily because I have noticed my piece in the puzzle. It is interesting to observe political behavior from professionals because they act out, but they also want to make a positive impact on students, colleagues, and the progression of the field.I personally feel the need for a ladder to reach people in higher-level Student Affairs positions, and honestly, I am not sure they will even listen to anything that I have to say. It would be like walking into a wall and expecting it to move while knowing it has been cemented into place. I have observed countless moments of someone trying to knock down that wall with their bare hands, walking away with the bleeding knuckles and have accomplished nothing. Recognizing that this is a long-term project, I have to focus my time and energy in other places. I have gone back and forth about Student Affairs being the career for me, and I consider what it means to be in a field where people are blatantly not progressing. It seems people get to a point in this field where they feel they have enough accolades to disregard the need for continued growth. It is scary knowing that some people have fooled others so much that they now have the authority to control the destiny of others. I remember not too long ago on a social media platform, someone commented about being excited to enjoy a break from students as we entered winter break. A“seasoned”professional did not agree with the comment and made a post about knowing whom not to hire. Clearly, this person had a fixed set of beliefs and values, and thought it okay to publicly blacklist someone. Truthfully, the person who made the comment of knowing who not to hire would be the one I would not hire. In a field where we preach understanding, that person decided not to consider the original commenter’s mental and emotional health and determined the original commenter was in the wrong. Seeing things like this make me fearful of my actions, especially being a black man and having the understanding that some folx in Student Affairs are still not aware of their biases. I am often amazed by the public display of negative behavior that “seasoned” professionals exhibit, and yet still remain on a pedestal for people to praise and kiss their feet. When I decided to go into Student Affairs, it was because I saw people who cared. They were people who invested time into my development and transition. They were also transparent with me about how my growth was being stunted by some of the behaviors I was exhibiting. Regardless of how I took some of the information when I was in undergrad, I still knew those people wanted the best for me as I moved towards being an adult in a world where I thought behavior mattered. That is who I wanted to be as I have continued into the field,someone who cared about students and colleagues. Being in this field, I have to care about the development of everyone, because I know we all interact with each other at some level. We are all stakeholders and that should mean enough for people to give a damn. It is clear to me now, though, that I only had a glimpse of what people in this field actually care about. Recently, I attended an event that had great intentions, but I became blinded by the actions of the host reading a biography about someone that felt more like a resume or CV. I could care less about some of the accolades of “merit”, but nowhere in the introduction did I hear anything about what the person had contributed to the success of students. Instead, it felt like someone reading off a list of reasons why the person deserved to be on stage speaking to the audience. I struggle to have faith in some professionals when they continue to use their words to express how great they are and not the authentic, tangible experiences of others to show the impacts they have made. I know some people might feel like the latter is worse, but I think it is actually quite easy to read through the acting and see when someone is not being genuine. During my time in graduate school, I posted a podcast, one that I admittedly hate to this day. I hate it because any time I think about it, I have negative physical reactions. My body becomes tense and I start to feel a little nauseous. I wish that was not the feeling, but if you have ever experienced anything like that, then you know. This is a moment where I take full responsibility for my part in some people’s negative reactions, but to this day, I am confused about how things turned out to be bigger than necessary. When I tell you things were ridiculous, I really mean it - it was the third podcast that I believe I posted, and it had outdone my other podcasts by at least 100 listens and continues to be my most listened-to podcast. While I would like to say it was because the podcast was just so well produced, it was not. It was because of the negative issues it drummed up around campus. I heard more “Why did he do that?” than I ever wanted; it was never “Dang, that was his experience.” The podcast highlighted my experience as a black man on campus, and it quickly forced POC professionals as well as white professionals to react negatively. They felt attacked and I was surprised because I thought I actually did a good job at not being as negative as I wanted. I think some people were not as outwardly negative about it as I would have expected, but of course, they had to save face. They could not throw rocks and blame me at the same time. It never works for two people to throw rocks publicly and only one be the guilty individual. Since that incident occurred, there are professionals who still pick and choose when they want to speak to me. Often, the occasions when they want to speak are when they are in front of a crowd. My experiences are not the only ones that matter, but I cannot speak about the others’ stories all the time and not share my own. The fragility of people in Student Affairs is amazing, especially because these are the same people using sledgehammers to knock others down. I have a friend who works in the field that spoke with me about their graduate school experience. Out of respect for their career and them as an individual, I will not share their name or the institution. I will, on the other hand, share my feelings about their classroom experience, during which their professor told the classroom, “Don’t be one of my back-stairwell conversations.” Yeah, I know; complete and utter disrespect to use your authority to put fear into someone when they are fresh into the field. That statement, coupled with the constant expression that “Student Affairs is a small world” means a few things—some professionals in the field know what effect they have on others and can make a lasting impact on those they come across. I am aware that behavior can impact your future, but it means a lot worse to me when someone is using it as a scare tactic. No matter how confident someone is, they will always play the game if they are considering their future. This is especially prevalent for a field in which it is already hard to get or keep a job. When you already have to depend on the government to keep your job running, it is another level of fear to have someone tell you in so many words, “I can break you”. Considering the many thoughts that run through folx’s heads, I would beg people to consider the thoughts of those who are Women, POC, Black and POC Women, Queer, Non-Binary Folx, etc. The intersections of their identities can sometimes make it harder to even engage with the idea of upsetting someone who holds a higher rank in the profession. Regardless of the conferences, webinars, and training, some of my colleagues still function based on many known and unknown biases. There are stories all over the internet where Student Affairs professionals express their dislike for the issues that occur. It seems few hear what these people have to say, and it is unfortunate for the profession. It will only continue to validate the belief that some view us professionals as unnecessary and continue to lose dedicated individuals who want to share their care for students and professionals alike. From my observation, as you climb the ranks in Student Affairs things become tougher. Job security becomes even more of an issue, politics become more prevalent, and the competition is even more cutthroat. I noticed that and this is only moving from my position as a graduate professional to a full-time professional. I am grateful for my department because I am able to have an experience where I am not feeling the pressure on a regular basis, but my friends and colleagues’ experiences are completely different. It is my hope that as I continue to work in Student Affairs, I will find that people are doing what they need to grow. Maybe from this article I will have more people questioning my observations, or people will talk with their person, their therapists, supervisor, mentor, etc. to help figure out where their growth is going to come from. Although I have not lost full faith in the field, it does continue to dwindle away. I need to hold myself accountable, which could lead to being blacklisted myself,but some hills you have to be willing to die on. Honestly, this is a hill that I am willing to die on! There are too many people who look like me and sometimes experience life similarly. I will continue to progress in a field where Black and POC women, POCs, Women, Queer individuals, Non-Binary folx, etc. can continue to make space for those students on their campuses. If they cannot get the respect they need in work then I know damn well they cannot make the necessary spaces for the students. Existing in a field where you are not allowed to exist is crippling and unacceptable. When I spend time reflecting over my experience, I ask a few questions. “How are you making this worth your time?” “Who would you be leaving behind if you left the field?” Sometimes I struggle to answer, sometimes the answers are different, and sometimes I can answer the questions with flying colors. Regardless of what the answer looks like I continue to ask myself, “Are you growing or just talking? Can you make an impact in other ways?” While these may not be the most profound questions, it would be wonderful to know that other people are questioning themselves and their time in Student Affairs. I just hope we continue to use our knowledge of knowing others exist in spaces to help us move forward in our own development.
"My experiences are not the only ones that matter, but I cannot speak about the others’ stories all the time and not share my own."
Just a Piece of my Brain
Submitted by Marcus Powell, Hall Director, University of Iowa
"Existing in a field where you are not allowed to exist is crippling and unacceptable.."
Marcus Powell Hall Coordinator University of Iowa marcus-powell@uiowa.edu
I overthink everything. I am good at being detail-oriented while seeing the larger impact and big picture. I fixate on worst-case scenarios and narratives. I am well-prepared. I can get jealous, petty, and overly-sensitive. I am empathetic and compassionate. I get paranoid, need constant reassurance, and have a deep fear of missing out. I am quick to help and always make sure the job is done and done well. I am a Student Affairs Professional who lives with Generalized Anxiety and Panic Disorders. My anxiety and panic can sometimes lead to quicker overwhelming feelings of stress and burnout, and is also part of what makes me a strong professional and great friend. I am someone who feels like personal and professional lives cannot be mutually exclusive. My professional work and my mental health are two of the biggest parts of my identity, and I cannot just turn a part of it off. I have techniques and tools to assist with my anxiety and panic, and I have triggers that do not subside. So what do you do when you come face-to-face with your triggers on a regular basis? Those moments when you are trying to quickly mitigate your experiences to provide support for colleagues, staff, and students around you because that is your role? You learn to disassociate from yourself, for the time being, doing whatever you need to get through those next few minutes, days, or weeks. You dive deeper into the work. You try to take a couple of days off to process and heal. You do what needs to be done to keep moving forward. The reality is, the support we currently offer is not enough. As a field, we pride ourselves on prioritizing education, awareness, and resources to provide support for our students’ mental health, yet often overlook or completely forget about doing the same for ourselves and each other as professionals. We fail to recognize the value of using sick time as “mental health” days. We encourage the use of “taking off”, but minimize the pile of make-up work that often occurs when we do so. We are advised to flex time in our schedules if possible without addressing the fact that doing so means canceling or postponing work responsibilities and time with students and staff. While these are kind gestures and well-intended offers, they do not do much for systemic issues at hand. When I have challenged myself to be honest with supervisors about my anxiety and panic, particularly when triggered, and how it may impact how I show up to work, I have been dismissed, telling me to “calm down” and saying, “It is your job, so I guess you will just have to deal with it.” But I have also had amazing supervisors, like in my current role, who were willing to take the time to try and understand my lived experiences. Supervisors who help change the narratives and provide advocacy. Who empowers me to speak up, ask for help, and recognize that it does not make me less of a professional by doing so. Who worked with me to establish boundaries and push back against protocols in place to best support not only our students, but professional staff, for mental health support. This support has boosted morale and strengthened a commitment to my supervisor, department, and division, and has drastically improved my ability to provide stronger support to students while knowing my limits. There are no set or easy fixes for supporting those with mental health challenges and most of us do not have experience being mental health professionals; yet we are often put in positions to act as though we are. This work takes a toll on all of us, and that toll can be even more impacting for those living with anxiety and panic and other mental health concerns. I am not asking anyone who supervises or works with professional staff to become experts in mental health support. That is an unfair and unrealistic expectation to put on ourselves. I am challenging all of us to be better about checking in with professional staff, actively listening and seeking to understand when people speak up, and proactively reviewing protocols and providing resources to set everyone up for success. A challenge to acknowledge the work we do in Student Affairs can be intense and impacts us as humans as well as professionals. I know we can do this. We do it every day for our students. Now, it is time to do it for ourselves.
By Barb Haggerty, Residence Life Coordinator University of Wisconsin- Madison
Working WITH Mental Health Concerns
"The reality is, the support we currently offer is not enough."
The field of Housing and Residence Life is not an 8-to-5 job, regardless of what level you are at. Professional and personal interact regularly. Whether it’s duty coverage, conference attendance, emergency situations, or volunteer opportunities, there often is a tug-of-war between personal and professional life. My career has had many collisions between personal and professional lives.As ACUHO-I president I will be travelling extensively during 2020 – although I can’t complain about a trip to Australia! Being part of ACUHO-I has allowed me to bring family to conferences in locations desirable to them (like Orlando), but more often it has resulted in me being away for 3-7 days, making my wife a single parent of 1-3 kids. I also changed jobs while my two oldest kids were in high school. Unfortunately, that decision can only be judged in full after the decision was made. Luckily, it was judged positively by my family. At one time I was serving on the UMR executive board, working on my dissertation, and beginning a job search – all while my wife was pregnant. I’m not recommending that strategy for anyone! Personal/professional collisions aren’t always family-related; they may be when one’s values intersect with institutional values. Personal values may conflict with institutional policies. Personal political view may conflict with institution/city/state politics. Healthcare options for families with special needs may intersect with community supports available. There are other intersections that could present challenges between personal and professional arenas. Sacrifices don’t need to be made when these collisions occur. This issue’s Vonversations are with professionals who have approached these intersections during their careers. You will learn from the following UMR veterans: Charlie Potts, Assistant Vice President for Student Life at Gustavus Adolphus College Evan Knoespel, Hall Coordinator at the University of Iowa (Incoming UMR Inclusion and Equity Coordinator) Sandi Scott, Dean of Students at UW-Stout Greg Thompson, Director of Residence Education at the University of Iowa (Previous UMR Executive Committee after serving as the UMR President) Kate Fitzgerald, Director of University Housing at the University of South Dakota Erica Thompson, Associate Director of Residence Life at the University of St. Thomas (Incoming UMR State Membership Coordinator) Erica: I feel like transition is the one constant in education, and my own experience mirrors that. I never worked with Residence Life as an undergrad and as I entered graduate school, I vowed I would never work in Residence Life. After two years in Student Activities, Orientation, & Leadership Programs, I realized I might want to be a Dean of Students someday and resigned myself to “putting in my time” in Residence Life. Over 11 years later, it’s a shift I am so grateful to have made. I transitioned from tiny private schools to Division I schools and then to a private, Catholic institution. I have been involved in ACPA, including a role on the national convention steering team for ACPA 17 and the leadership team for the Student Affairs Collective (#sachat). My first year at the University of St. Thomas was also my first time attending UMR-ACUHO. Change and transition doesn't always come in new positions, though. I'm in my sixth year at St. Thomas and one of the reasons I continue to stay is how engaged I feel professionally. Recently, we have begun implementing a curriculum, and though my job responsibilities have not formally changed, I get to do new things that really excite me. Charlie: I’ve been fortunate to have opportunities at my own institution to add responsibility and advance professionally while staying here. Part of that is hard work and good timing, but mostly it’s a result of developing relationships and gaining trust that I can handle more and do things well. Evan: I spent the majority of my first few years just juggling the multiple facets of the Hall Coordinator/Director role without ever really feeling good at any of them. As I gained a greater understanding of the flow of a typical cycle, I was able to dive deeper into certain areas I found greater passion in, while making sure I maintain a standard level within everything else. As I find myself in later years of being a “new professional,” I have a greater desire to build connections and find opportunities within the Division of Student Life. Opportunities exist to expand my horizon, but ultimately, by still working for the division, the work trickles down into Residence Life. Sandi: In the past few years, I have transitioned from the role of Senior Housing Officer (SHO) to SSAO (Senior Student Affairs Officer) and Dean of Students.I still have housing in my portfolio, but it is no longer my day-to-day role. Greg: I started as a hall coordinator and have made 3-4 progressive moves up the ladder to become a Director. I have changed institutions three times and have spent the last 3-4 years working on my doctorate. Kate: I became director at USD in June 2019.Prior to this, I was Director at Youngstown State University for three years, after 13 years at the University of Iowa. After a long career in the Residence Life side of things, I wanted to get more involved in the business and facilities areas. I wanted a director role when we moved to YSU. Ultimately, we moved closer to home when the USD position opened up. Kate: I think this would be around diversity.I am a passionate supporter of social justice in my career and personal life. I have been in Housing and Residence Life for a long time and have seen all sorts of change. I think being an out lesbian has at times put me in a position of “you need to be on the ‘diversity group’”, which I enjoy but also know I have been selected just because of how I identify. I think the most personal is dealing with issues of our students who identify as GLBT and non-conforming. So many residence halls have bathrooms assigned in a binary manner. When non-gendered housing was first introduced it was exciting, but still today I cringe when we have a student who asks for a room change because their roommate is gay. I still second guess myself when explaining the non-discrimination policy and challenging students – while still wanting to protect the student who identifies at GLBT or non-conforming. Greg: Time commitments are usually the place where I find the most overlap. This became much harder once children entered our equation. Nights and weekends are often times that are double booked between work and life commitments with the children. Evenings at home can also be risky when there is work that needs to be completed, but that is also the only time to spend significant time with my family. I also am extremely politically active in the community and I find, on occasion, there is an overlap between the personal work I do for political efforts and the work I do to change lives and the world with students. Charlie: I work at a small institution in a small community, so there aren’t many places I can go where I’m not associated directly with my job and my institution. I love it, but I know it can feel overwhelming at times. And having children while doing this work means my kids know their way around campus and know lots of people here because they spend lots of time around my work. Sandi: There are have been many times, both as an SHO, and now as an SSAO, I have felt the collision of these two worlds.Most often it occurred during a hiring process.In this profession, and especially in housing where we are all about creating environments for our students where community and relationships can occur so students feel a sense of belonging, we also create strong, personal relationships with staff and colleagues. Sometimes, difficult hiring or promotion decisions had to be made. Perceptions abound, either as the hiring authority you are hiring someone because of your personal relationship with them, or you made a decision to not hire someone because of a personal matter or issue. While I have always tried to separate myself from any personal relationship that I have in any decision I had to make, it doesn’t mean the other party has been able to do that. Even now as an SSAO, I still experience this. Recently, in hiring a non-housing Director-level position, there were staff in my division who believed the search would automatically result in my hiring the candidate who had previous housing experience because I have a “bias toward housing.” Of course, I value the excellent work experience housing provides employees, but my job as a hiring authority is to weigh all factors in determining who is the right candidate for any position. Erica: I prefer to think of it as integration rather than balance. The first time I heard it, it stuck with me. To me, the things in my personal life and in my professional life are not at odds with one another – they are both important to me. Both the personal and professional are with me most of the time.I feel the joy and difficult things in my personal life while at work and feel the success and stress from my job at home. Tasks also cross over; sometimes I do personal things at work and work while I'm at home. I manage my time in ways that work for me and that meets my obligations. I get to do some pretty amazing things in my roles and sometimes those things happen on evenings and weekends; I also get to do some pretty amazing things with my family that are supported through my job and my income. Probably the biggest game changer in how I manage all of this was engaging a coach during what was probably my worst professional experience. That year, I worked with my coach on choosing joy and taking responsibility for what that meant to me. Evan: My values and principles have matured over time and have largely been shaped by the departments I have worked for and the partner I have lived with since beginning my professional career. I have had the utmost privilege of working for departments that only want me to work 40 hours (besides on-call responsibilities, opening/closing, etc.) and a partner that helps me stay grounded to my home life. That being said, I have been able to calibrate as a professional that works hard when I am at work and do my best to leave work for the next day. I am a firm believer that I have the capacity to take care of what I need to get done for that day and head home, and I will get to what needs to get done the next day. Sandi: I feel so privileged to have developed critically important valuable personal relationships as a result of my professional journey. However, I have an obligation to the institution that employs me to always act in an ethical and unbiased manner. What the institution owes me is a paycheck.What I owe the institution is to maximize the use of my skill set every day to perform the responsibilities of my role. Everything I receive beyond that is not an expectation, but it is what keeps me motivated and fulfills me both professionally and personally.The greatest compliment I have ever received came from a former colleague about 20 years ago who told me that “anyone who knows you will say you work incredibly hard and put in long hours. They would also say in that same breath that, despite those long hours, there is no doubt that family comes first and is more important to you than work any day - and your family is a pretty wide circle.” Her comment, shared over a cup of coffee, made such a difference for me when I was struggling to be a great wife, mother of two young children, and a committed and dedicated housing professional. I’ve never forgotten it. Greg: A mentor of mine encouraged me early in my development to never confuse my career with my life. That is a mantra that I still hold. So I prioritize things by family, work, and everything else. When I decided to start a PhD program my priority chain became family, work, school, and everything else. Work events have the benefit of occurring repeatedly, often annually, but family experiences and the growth of my children is a one-time opportunity I do not get a chance to repeat. This means I have to make some difficult choices of things to miss on-campus…and yes, sometimes things I have to miss things with family. Prioritizing has meant I also have to take a step back from other things I enjoy as well, whether it is community involvement or time with friends or other pieces. Charlie: Balance is not a thing, and it’s not something I aspire to. There are times when work takes up too much time, and I accept that. I do my best to blend rather than balance. If I leave early to go to my boys’ basketball game, I dedicate time some other evening to do work. I bring my kids to events, my wife has facilitated professional development sessions in our department, I always make time to go for a run, etc. Pursuing perfect balance sets us up for failure, but blending allows for flexibility and fulfillment. Charlie: My supervisor trusts I will get my work done and do it well, which means there’s compassion and empathy when personal and professional collide. But I had to earn that trust, which meant having to negotiate the personal vs professional on my own sometimes until I built up the relationship. My network has always shared advice, encouragement, and compassion, but I can’t sit back and wait for it to happen – I have to reach out and ask for help. Evan: I have been able to surround myself with amazing professionals both locally and regionally in UMR who I feel are invested in my success, as I am with their success. By having relationships, it is easier to navigate the gray in our field. They hold the multiplicity of situations and know you on a deeper level to give you a different insight. Sandi: I have been blessed with wonderful supervisors, amazing colleagues, especially those within the UW-System and my UMR and ACUHO-I network.I can’t tell you how many times a phone call to one of them made a difference for me in helping me gain perspective, have my paradigm shifted, and motivated me to continue to do my work.It’s those colleagues who help me believe during those moments of feeling inadequate that I am enough.In going through a very difficult divorce a number of years ago, my work colleagues, supervisor, and the relationships I developed through my professional networks, lifted me through many challenging and difficult days in ways that I can’t even describe. Erica: My support system has given me the ability to find the integration among work and family that works for me. At home, my partner understands the work I do and that it doesn't always happen in a 9 - 5 time frame. He was once a part-time hall director and thinks it's awesome that there are people who actually want to do our work, because he definitely does not. His auntie also lives with us and helps us out a ton by taking care of our aging dog when my partner and I are not home. One of the things I appreciate most is to be able to share when things are hard and stressful at work, and process through how I might be able to manage it. Whether those conversations are with my partner, family, or friends, it helps to make the integration work. My first supervisor in Residence Life helped me learn that my “to do” list would be there in the morning. He is also the person who told me to apply for a committee and asked me to co-present at a conference, coaching me to professional engagement. Colleagues and friends in my network have helped me feel connected and part of a shared experience. They have also helped me grow and see what I still need to learn, challenging me to be a better version of myself. Greg: I have been fortunate to work for supervisors that support my choices to prioritize my family, but that was also intentional in the search processes I have gone through. I would not seek or accept employment in a department that would not work with me to be flexible to make my career and life function together, although I realize this is a privilege I have been able to have, not everyone can make those choices. My supervisors recognize this is a value for me and I have built trust with them so they know if I have to miss work or an event that I am accounting for the time or making sure that staff are prepared to fill in when I am not present. Open communication, responsible accounting for your time, and some trust and flexibility are important for making opportunities for balance possible. Kate: We talk about it. The decision to move to Ohio was a family decision, and ultimately the decision to move closer to home (parents in Sioux City) was a family decision as well. We also talk through consequences of decisions – like a choice to be vocal on something in private life may impact professional, such as conference attendance, taking on leadership roles that will require time away from family, and other circumstances.We make decisions together when we will be impacted together. Greg: Lots of communication in advance when possible, as surprises are never good in either the personal or professional realm. I also have found that I have to be ready to be adaptable as well and sometimes am not able to make everything work exactly how I might like it to be. However, I have also been pleasantly surprised to find where there has been flexibility I might not expect, such as finding time to be gone over training, opening, or closing,or being able to reconsider and reformat policies that impeded on healthier balance opportunities. Asking and having open communication, with present and responsive supervisors can open up a lot of things. Evan: Every professional decision that I imagine could impact my partner is a conversation that happens before any steps are taken. My partner has an interest in my success unlike anyone else, so it is important for me to bring my excitement in opportunities to her, to process that and ultimately make decisions. As long as it doesn’t involve a move and is something that I imagine I can handle, my partner is beyond supportive. But on the same hand, there are opportunities that I know are going to cross boundaries that I value, so I just have to be real about what I am willing to take on. Sandi: I believe in transparency and honesty.I was never“that mother”who shielded her children from difficult situations or conversations. When it came time to make a decision about a career move to a new city five hours away when my children were young, they were a part of the conversation from the beginning, although I also made it clear it was not their decision, but that I cared about their feelings regarding the move. Kate: I think the only decision that we made that in some ways I regret was our move to Ohio. My spouse was very unhappy there, and it was hard on both her and me. I am so happy that when she asked me to look closer to family, I was able to find a great position at a great university within an hour of her family. I believe that was meant to be.But the move to Ohio also gave my spouse the ability and support to start her own business and so that also served a purpose even if the location was hard. Greg: Prioritizing and knowing what is most valuable to me means I don’t often have regrets about what I miss, because I have assigned value to what is most important to my life. It sure doesn’t always make it easy though when I miss a great campus program to attend a sporting event, or when I miss a concert while I am at a work conference.For example, my wife’s birthday is August 12th, so it always falls during training or opening. Unfortunately, I have had a lot of misses on making her special day feel very special. This past year however, I was able to take her on a special trip for her 40th birthday with the support of our departmental staff and my supervisor. Sandi: I honestly don’t know that I have any regrets. There have been so many times over the past 34 years when I had to make a choice to have work come first. There have also been just as many times over the past 34 years where I made the choice to put family first. I do not regret any of those choices, but I do believe it is my responsibility to figure out how to balance both the personal and professional demands that we face. I need to ask for help, when appropriate, but ultimately, I am responsible for my choices. Evan: I cannot think of a singular moment, but for me, the moments of regret are where I course correct the most. It matters deeply to me that my partner feels a part of my process, so what I have learned is that communication is important for her. There are days where I do not necessarily want to talk about my day, but it is important for her to understand where I am at, so I have had to ensure that I am clueing her into what’s going on and what is upcoming. Evan: We shouldn’t untie the commonality that exists in our personal and professional lives. I would argue that we are working to prioritize the collective humanities of our students and peers. Find where your lives collide and why they collide for you. That oftentimes is where your passions and priorities exist, and then work to build means of protecting both. Sandi: For me, I have tried to not live a compartmentalized life. Who I am at work is who I am at home. When I’m at work, I don’t leave my home life at the door, and vice-versa. I want to be my authentic self as much of the time as I possibly can. If I work in a place where I can’t do and be that, then it’s not the right work environment for me and I have a choice to make. That may not work for everyone, but it has helped me balance the conflict that can occur between personal and professional. Erica: No one else can define personal and professional balance for you. What works for me doesn't have to be what works for you. It's okay to try different things, set boundaries, and make mistakes on your way to figuring out what you need. Our personal lives and our professional positions are not perfect, and it is likely they will seep into one another from time to time. Hopefully, as you figure out your own balance, that seeping will feel a part of a give and take rather than a head-on collision. Greg: Prioritize your values and seek out positions and places that will not only support you in your values, but work to help you grow in them. These things do not have to exist in perpetual conflict with good communication and planning, and some grace! Kate: Talk to people. You are never alone in this field. Call a mentor, speak to a colleague, post something on a listserv, ask for input. If you have a partner – include them in the big decisions! Charlie: Take the advice you give students all the time – ask for help. Ask for guidance from trusted resources, rely on personal and professional networks, etc., because those friends have often experienced similar things. But know that sometimes the best advice is from people who don’t understand college housing… they can provide a fresh perspective and a reality check that we often lack when only relying on those with a similar mindset.
Facilitated by Von Stange Assistant Vice President for Student Life and Senior Director University Housing & Dining, University of Iowa
Barb Haggerty Residence Life Coordinator University of Wisconsin- Madison barb.haggerty@housing.wisc.edu
Vonversations
What are the most common areas where your personal and professional lives collide?
In what ways have you expanded or transitioned your role as a professional?
Q:
What guiding principles or values have you leaned into when navigating a personal and professional balance?
In what ways has your current or previous supervisor, network, or UMR family supported you when personal and professional collide?
"No one else can define personal and professional balance for you. What works for me doesn't have to be what works for you. It's okay to try different things, set boundaries, and make mistakes on your way to figuring out what you need." - Erica Thompson
When you make professional decisions that could impact your personal life, how have you approached it with your loved ones?
Without getting too personal, what positive outcomes or regrets have you had when personal and professional collide?
What advice would you give to professionals who will ultimately face their own personal and professional collisions?
Sandi Scott University of Wisconsin- Stout
Erica Thompson University of St. Thomas
Greg Thompson University of Iowa
Evan Knoespel University of Iowa
Kate Fitzgerald University of South Dakota
Charlie Potts Gustavus Adolphus College
Joe Hazelton Minnesota State University, Moorhead
Becky Bahe North Dakota State University
We hope to see you at the annual conference in October!
Meet your 2020 Host Committee Chairs!!